ilurvebananas (:

2009-01-20T22:26:00.002+08:00

its mood dampening to have a not so joyous post as the first post for the new year even though im 20 days late. lol.

i realise that people tend to take advantage of decision makers some way or another. they always want people to come out with a decision but in the end make a different decision themselves. ironic isnt it ? they nv know how shit job sometimes being a leader can be (not looking into which area it is) people are waiting for you to make a decision for the whole. a decision which will please every single soul. convey their decision to the rest of the whole which somehow serves as a hubber. to send out info to the rest. but after the message has been sent they come out with another decision totally the flipside of the previous one. they jus shirk their responsibilites without sparing a thought of how the leader got to answer to the rest.

"which school life do you prefer more ? poly or secondary? " i think my answer would be the latter. reason being i can sense the class spirits lifting up everyone (or rather mostly) and the sense of togetherness. the times when we stood out for one another. the times when we do what we say together. thats what i call a class.
its a pity i don serve as a leader for such a class. ohwells.

and so , i told myself i shant be a leader anymore. i shall be a follower instead. it makes my life easier for this situation and all i just have to do is wait for people to make desperate decision out of last mins and just tailgate them.

i wonder how long time would take us to =/

2008-12-16T20:28:00.002+08:00

nyeh nyeh ! its 16 today which means another month added to how long we've met each other.

heheh. and it so happens to be our 16 months tgt ? hahah :DD

amazingly long and unbelieveable that we cld hang on till this far. (((:

multiply the time we gna be tgt for each other and minus off all the unhappy times.

lol.

today was great. well for the whole day cept at the end of it ?

its something that is meant for only me and her. lalala ~

happy 16th months babby ! i love you lots lots. ((:

2008-12-15T22:01:00.002+08:00

finally the long awaited holidays have kicked in !
wooo ~ which also meant common test ended not long ago too. lol.
okays. summary for common test.
hmmm. packed i can say cause its not the usual stretched period for the past few ones. this time round its consecutive which means every other day there would be paper.
basically what i can say for it is that im too nervous this time round for god knows what reason. which resulted in minor mental block and sudden loss of what ive studied. supposingly i cld easily do a certain qns during cirriculum time but during the paper i panic , freaked out. z.z
BUT. one thing i must bring for this particular paper ...

Microprocessor is a killa !

while doing the paper , it brought me back to secondary sch days memories and to be precise during times when i sat for my physics paper. why physics ? reason being i practically cant do the whole paper even though i studied for it. (ok maybe not enough :P) but the big difference for this time is i know whats going on. i can do pass year papers but i just cant do for the actual day. its totally a big smack on my face. lol. i nearly walked out halfway cus i noe i cant do it. like wat i always do when im met with such sceneriaos. start counting the marks to see how much marks ive lost for those which i dint do / dno how to do. hahah.

okok. enough abt that. its over. zzz.

supposingly theres a plan for the start of my holidays. its like so long awaited one but end up last min cancelled. ): not a very good start for it eh ? ohwells.

anw tmrs 16 !!! yeah yeah !

cant wait ! :DD

ilovemygf !

nyeh nyeh ~

2008-11-24T21:07:00.002+08:00

i should have seen all this coming uh

but apparently i dint

and thats the reason why im in this state. ):

the rest are better left unsaid , unheard and best still

unknowned.

tell me how and why D:

2008-11-16T21:26:00.003+08:00

ya ya.. like what jj has mention. its the time of the month again. 16 !
wooo ~ yes. another month has past again. 15 months , 457 days of being tgt with my lovely gf (:
what else is there left to say ? i just love her to bits and pieces :D lets go through many more months and days tgt eh babyy !

i love my gf la !

hugs&kisses <3

2008-11-08T20:25:00.002+08:00

this post is a special one. why ? cus its not updated on the 16th. HAHAHA

talk abt sch. nothing much. boring but kinda impt lectures ? lol.
had comm skills games presentation ytd. went out quite well. for everyone in the class based on the debrief the lecturer gave. i was quite shocked when she said something abt me. i guess shes shocked that im actually that kind of person she came to realise during the game thing. reason being. (speaking from the bottom of my heart) from the way i see myself during the class theres no way u can tell that im that kind of person who can lead others. lol.

i think shes quite right. its always through such activities that reveals the other side of a person.
anw. her comments did made my day la. fyi. fridays are headache days due to the first 4 hours of the same lab. normally im knocked out after that which explains my slackiness during her class. =x

theres another thing which made my day ytd. hehhe. not gna tell ! lallala ~

bie , come back quick can ? even though you are just heading for the shop. lol.
love ya ! (((((((:

2008-10-16T22:09:00.002+08:00

woo ~ another month passed. and today's the 16 which means... 14 months being tgt ! :DD
from day one till now its already the 426th days siol. lol. cant believe that we could last till now even though 341840253 bad things came in between us. but ohwells. theres more to come i guess in times to come ? lol.

to gf: do we have enough fingers to count our futures ? hahaha. (: love you babyy ! <3

2008-10-11T22:05:00.002+08:00

oh how i hate saturdays now. and maybe sundays too.

nothing seems to come out from this two used-to-be-looking-forward-to days.

besides that , my happy times is much more like a F1 car.

run by turbo engines which explains why it zip past me so fast.

when can i see the checkered flag being waved ?

2008-10-05T13:44:00.001+08:00

im bored ):

2008-09-27T10:32:00.000+08:00

the passport to forever and ever ? :D

2008-09-25T22:44:00.002+08:00

finally i got a day off from relieving ! waking up at 6 plus for consecutive of serveral days really aint my thing now ever since i stepped into poly. lol. the only motivation for me to get up is gf. :DD cause i get to see her first thing in the morning ! hahah. honestly speaking its tiring. physically and mentally. sleepy and need to walk a long. but ! its all worth it. im freaking not lying. I SWEAR ! if i get to relief gf class everyday , i think if my sleeping time reduces to like 4 hours ? i dont mind eh. can see her the whole day siak ! like omg. hahah. seeing her is like wooo ~ nvm. only i ustd. heheh.

btw. i did managed to relief her class though. yes. it was awkward at the start cause i nvr know what her classmates would say or react. but thank god they quite sporting. or rather they also dint bother about it. everyone just did their own stuffs. well. i did mine as always. sitting infront at the teacher's table like a zombie. but at gf class was slightly diff. her class ma so gna be special. uh uh ! not those kind of naughty things uh. i taught her work ok ! lol. but since its physic and its secondary sch one somemore therefore was any great help to her though :x

during the past few days of relief. i got to know more students. students from different classes. good and bad. good cause more friends ? (its not that i got lil friends uh. lol ) bad cause they are so gna recognise me outside sch time. but now i also dont care la. see see luh. teachers no outside life ah ? whatsmore im just a relief teacher. hahah. :P

well. i guess thats enough to cover up whats happening recently in my life eh ? lol.
yawns ~

ps// i miss those never-gonna-end-till-we-fall-asleep long hours of msgin with gf ):
and i miss her too. sigghhh. =/

2008-09-18T23:53:00.002+08:00

Happy Seventeen Birthday Sweetie !

another year older ehs ? 17 alr la seh. wooo ~

be careful what you wish for uh. because you just might get it ! ahahah. :D

i dont care. i want to be inside your wish that you make ah.

if not.. NO PRESENT FOR YOU !

nyehh nyehh ~

with loves , bf (:

2008-09-16T00:17:00.002+08:00

YES ! i freaking know what you know ehs.

its our 13th month of bittersweet love.

ups & downs.

laughters & tears.

none of us thought we could made it this far. way too far beyond their expectaions.

but we did ! not for them. not for anyone.

but only you and me.

what more can i say ?

last long long okay hun ?

stand by each other for we still got a long way to go and alot more to endure. :D

time maybe hard for us now but i supposed our love is harder than time kan ? heheh.

i love you babyy ! <3

2008-09-14T22:21:00.002+08:00

and girl , i miss you too ! ):
i dont want a smile from you only i want you. cause with you comes everything more than just a smile.

tmr starting sch with normal lesson alr eh ? like always. whenever monday comes

you always say the same old thing. lol. glad you know big fat O is

just a month away. its rolling its way to spore. dont MALAS !

endure endure and endure. and everything would be OVER. its come in a big O and leave with one too. (:

i not freaking in love with any colour or anything

but just you and only you

NABILAHku , i love you (:

2008-09-13T13:17:00.003+08:00

hmmm. relieving again on thursday. had to skip friday cause of appointment. (*winks)
seriously speaking , students nowadays are hard to teach , discipline and control. its either you push them too hard they cant take it or you let loose abit they climb over your head. the fear of teachers is no longer there i suppose. in case you might not know , im actually talking about the lower secs. its in between minority and majority. screw them eh ?

finally prelims done for gf. woo ! but theres still 60 more days to go before everything is really done and over. ): supermarket day with gf on thursday after work. supposingly shes doing the marketing but turn out im the one doing it. (willingly:D) the rest i know she know and thats that. (:

knowing that ytd was the last training for ncc , i decided to make a comeback to the unit. its been long since i went for training. lol. training schedule was... chui. everything had to end within a short time and test was worst. cadets were still unsure / not taught the drills for proficiency test. *claps*claps*
that was not all. i was still cool with that until some "HQ Staff" came back from range. with his newly donned rank he started displaying his authorities despite of knowing the fact it was fasting month , he decided to act things his own style. he was unlucky that i was present there. his instruction were overwritten by mine on the cadet's welfare basis. why dont you try fasting and see how it feels whateverrankyouare ? tsk.

i guess todays another rotting day. zzz
3 more days to 16 ((:
6 more days to 19 ((:

hun , i miss you ):
&iloveyoutoo <3

2008-09-09T23:11:00.003+08:00

i just realised that i haven been updating my blog for .. quite a long time ? lol. which explains why im doing so now. nothing much recently. did relief again today and i hope many more to come ?

gf's prelim has also started again mostly with heavy papers. JIAYOU okay babyy ? study hard for the last few papers and youre done with prelims ! i really wanted to be there for you but .. (you know , i know too) just do your best and stop DBSK-ing. one day i get real jealous i'll find my own duet too. and you should by now know who she's gonna be. boohoo. (and i do know you sure gna be jealous too. lol)

gotta head for bed night. yawns ~

my smile and laughters would always go to you. not by days but for life (:
lots of love babyy !
10 is the number :D

2008-09-02T21:55:00.003+08:00

habits are hard to kick. one tends to get too used to something which they always see , hear , do etc.. and when any changes set in, even the slightest one gets you thinking. good or bad or rather mostly bad. its like inevitable and unavoidable. you tend to have this feeling of uncertainties and lost. and of course not used to it. and for me its almost losing half of everything in my life.

thats how i feel about my life now. sometimes it gets you wondering whether its presence is still there. like tell me who/how can i talk to upon such things. you use your heart to feel and your mouth to talk. its as good as asking your heart to do the job of your mouth. funny isnt it ?

yaya. and people starts to think that its just another emoshit. so what if it is or isnt so ? i dont think i owe anyone any explaination of what i have to say here. in my own blog.

i need to find the nearest exit sign cause i dont want to go through all this anymore. same goes to my babbyy

hun , i hope/guess you are doing fine now. i really want to be there for you but circumstances just wont allow.
we totally got no contact with each other except those super duper short calls.and most of the times we only talked for barely one min and it also seem that we cant and dont have much to talk about to each. maybe because of the time constraints or other reasons. its quite saddenning kan ? ): im worried and somehow lack of abit of security cause i seriously dno what you are doing time to time. =/ i just hope we would be able to last through all these shits and get over the like... very soon ?
i miss you badly and nonetheless love you truckloads eh. <3

2008-08-21T23:07:00.003+08:00

can things fall and stack nicely at the right place at the right time by itself ?
cus they seems to be falling everywhere , anyhow and anywhen.

too much to handle

2008-08-17T21:01:00.002+08:00

yesterday was one of the biggest upset and surprise i had in my life.

imagine getting to know from someone whom you care and showed so much love to that he or she had some hidden feelings for another person.

and you don even know whether what ohter things am i being kept in the dark. the feeling was devastating. total disappointment and loss for trust. especially when its not the first time such things happen. a sudden thought of betrayla engulfed me immediately. and i start to qns myself whether the love was for real or its just a game to you. personal feelings acts as a variable towards the attitude to the r/s is tt wat its supposed to be ? the level of disappointment shows clearly how much effort iv put in. depsite after the first time such issue got surfaced up.i chose to trust you but after the second time ? i wont ask for much all i ask for is to leave that lil trust for you unshaken. the statstic for what-you-do-and-what-you-get is always not equal. but i really don deserve such this treatments. its way too much for me to take it.

the damage this time is really way too huge...

2008-08-15T21:21:00.002+08:00

i lead a boring / mundane life nowadays.( my gf says so ) supposingly its study week for us but THERES NO STUDYING IN MY DAILY ROUTINE ( ok maybe a few hours)
mon - Eng. Maths
wed- E Comm
mon - ECA

Eng. Maths is the most worrying papers among surprisingly cause it used to be quite a breeze to sit through. but the game has changed. =S * prays hard*

i wonder why am i feeling so excited. is there something special coming on ? HAHAHHA :D
for sure im gna get slapped by SOMEONE if she sees this. lalalal ~

two and a half hours more to go (:

2008-08-10T23:06:00.000+08:00

tell me how am i going to survive tmr all alone ?

=/

imy sweetie

2008-08-07T23:30:00.004+08:00

1.The person who tagged you is :

nurulnabilahhuda<3

2.Your relationship with her is :

bf&gf (:

3.Your five impression of her :

11 months ago or now ?

clumsy,cute,blur,irritating(in a good way),sweet. :D

4.The most memorable thing she had done for you :

last night. only both of us know. lalala~

5.The most memorable thing she said to you :

i love you beau.

6.If she become your lover, you will :

HAHA. she already is. lol

7.If she become your lover, thing she has to improve on will be:

it says IF. shes already my lover. meaning i can skip this qns ?

8.If she become your enemy, you will :

i guess the rest of the ppl i noe are my enemies too?

9.If he become your enemy, the reason will be :D:

we are joking around

10.The most desire thing you want to do for her now is :

buy time and give it all to her

11.Your overall impression of her is :

clumsy+blur+cute

12.How you think people around you will feel about you? :

depends on how close those people are to me

13.The characteristics you love about yourself :

actually. theres nothing. lol.

14.On the contrary, the characters you hate about yourself are:

15.The most ideal person you want to be is:

everyone's perfect person !

16.The people that care and like you, say something to them:

life's aint a bed of roses.(they have thorns btw. HAHA)

17. pass this quiz to 5 ppl you wished to know how they feel about you:

nabilah

bestie huda

shiying

ikhlas

2008-08-06T12:55:00.002+08:00

will everything be alright and get better ?

i dont want to get used to it. =/

its a killa !

2008-08-04T21:38:00.004+08:00

at last im done with programming presentation. its was shitty. i went in well prepared for last week's qns. and end up gotten killed by a new qns. apparently the qns wasnt easy. damn. and it was smth which was not taught nor did during normal lab sessions. after that was ecomm extra lesson. and also the last one. i still rmb vivdly how i curse and swear at the lecturer during the first lesson with all the unreasonable and weird lab rules to follow. but slowly i kinda of find him interesting and those lab rules werent that crappy either. lol.

ohya. gotten back the test for it too. surprisingly quite a few managed to get full marks for it. and i only got like 45 out of 50 ? lol. black horses. i think im more pissed with this test rather than the programming presentation. cause its simple. i understand the theory for ecomm test and i was still explaining to yx abt it and YET i myself got it wrong. how dumb. programming ? forget it. hahah.

dint managed to meet up nor msg much with gf.
and ya. i do miss her. and i just want to feel this way and nothing else. those uncessarry feelings. go get yourself another owner and stop bugging me.
i cant handle you. =/

iloveyoubabby , yes i really do.

12 more days

2008-08-03T23:09:00.003+08:00

since bby complains that i make her angry by being lazy and not updating , so i shall update. lol. i guess its exactly the same as what she started off for her entry.

seriously the weather is hot today. effing hot i swear. the moment i step out of the house i felt like a chewing gum. sticky. pffft. =s
had a gathering for my gramp birthday. as usual. breakfast den to some other places.
well this time round was still ok since the place we went was somewhere ive never been before though i always past by it every single day. bottle cap tree ? everything was fine except the weather. zzz

lately i've been having this feeling. not the same as the previous entry. lol.
a feeling that i dont feel the same feeling as it is compared to last time. i used to be on cloud 9 every night and maybe some mornings. those msges makes me go buttery and brightens up my day. but i dont know why i dont seem to feel it now. as in not as much as last time.

i dont know if im being too inquisitive or asking too much out of an issue. cause thats how i felt with the response i received. its seems that im too protective or irritating to be asking them. =/
supposingly after being so long in a r/s we should be confidence and have absolute trust in one another.
but not supposingly i don fully possess both of them. i hate this feeling uh. i repeat I HATE IT. and i don want to be feeling this way seriously. it does no one good. but it just have to befall on me now. why oh why ?
i guess the root causes of this might be due to what that had happened lately. and its haunting me. or caused a really big impact on me. either way round. sigh. it leads to no where but a series of unwanted arguements. when will the last one end ?

i really really really love my gf much uh. and i meant them.
can you feel them my dear ?
ohya. god please grant my gf''s wish too. make the rain come any sooner ! (:

i need you to lead me out of all this. can ? =/

2008-07-31T09:31:00.002+08:00

why am i feeling this way now ?
a feeling that something is lost.
a feeling that ive been wronged.
a feeling of unfairness.
a feeling of whydidigaveinsoeasyily?
a feeling of L.

get over it ky , will you ? zzz

2008-07-30T17:13:00.002+08:00

if thats the case , i'll take my leave.

good things always come in small pieces ,
whereas bad things come in chunks.

thanksforsharingitwithyourfriend

2008-07-30T00:14:00.002+08:00

i need tactics to overcome them.
anyone?

2008-07-25T23:26:00.002+08:00

woo ~ its friday once again (((:
one more week down which means one week nearer to exams and common test. zzz.

past one week was test after test. both lab and paper quiz. skip the process and the comments. lol
after next mon would be the end of everything. a BIG fullstop to all the tests and stuff. and the early dismissal of some classes. ( i just rmb theres another paper quiz on fri. zzz . lol)

i hate to be defeated/bring down at this situation. its like many failures to level up to a higher level in a game.
=/
i doubt theres anymore things to update uh.

gfislove <3

2008-07-18T23:27:00.002+08:00

its been long since i last updated siol.
been rather busy / moodless / nothing to update either. lol.

busy with stuffs which ive also forgotten about.
moodless or rather worried. and i mean seriously worried that i cant have peaceful sleeps for almost the last one week. pffft. well , im glad its over and phew ~ (:

lab test today. horrendous. at first i was so scared that i wouldn be able to set up the circuit correctly thus unable to find the correct readings. (i was confident to get the readings during my lab sessions ) however , it turned out the otehr way round. i could set up the circuit correctly and in working condition but i cant get my readings correctly. from the first qns to the last. i doubt any one of it were correct unless the lecturer take those answer (correct ones) which i scribbled off. -.- how about a round of applause ? lol. night lesson was ok. fun i can sae. with all the nonsenses going on around us. and not missing out the lecturer. i take back my words which i said when i first attended his lesson. he's quite fun and nice actually. :D

tests and tests coming up next week. zzz. and afterwhich comes common test and after afterwhich is exams. fucking fast can. omg.

a little note to myself. i realised im more easily jealous and sensitive nowadays. =/ or rather sensitive first which then leads to jealousy. ohwell. i guess its part of ky. lol.

anw. happy belated 11th month to babyy ! though i alr wished her and ya some other places. lalal ~
11 amazing months which bypassed us just like that !
cant wait for our 1 year ehs ?
love you syg (:

2008-07-09T14:24:00.002+08:00

she's cute
she's blur
she's stubborn
she's sweet
she's part of me
she's mine

and most importantly..

SHE'S LOVED BY ME :D

2008-07-05T23:13:00.003+08:00

i hate the feelings within me. but the more i hate it the worst it gets each time.
and theres nothing i can do about it.
its like getting entangled in a spider web. the more you struggle the more entangled you are.
you struggle , harder to get out.
you don struggle , you definitely cant get out.
its just a matter of time the spider comes and eat you up. lol

this part of my life is quite biatch. =/

2008-07-03T21:38:00.002+08:00

such things just have to keep coming all the time.
and it just get tougher and more demoralising each time it pay its visit.
this time round it hit me real hard. the concussion of what had happened. so hard that i cant see clearly of the path infront of me. or rather us.

im seriously losing grip on a thin rope thats supporting me all these while. its only a matter of time i fall deep onto the cold hard ground and bleed my way out.

those thoughts keep playing in my mind like a spoilt disc. all the negative thoughts.
i cant see myself waking up and find out that something that has been with me all along to be gone just like that out of nowhere.
ive tasted how its like to be hit hard on the ground. aint nice at all. totally. which explains why i do not wante to have a second taste 0f it.
i dont want to see myself wandering aimlessly around the neighbourhood like some pathetic soul
i just dont want to be what i am 4 yrs back.
i dont want to face this all alone. thats for sure.
im not that strong at all and im seriously knocked out this time.

hun, i really need you to confide to me all your thoughts as much as what i wanted to do so much
but dint cause you said you dint wanted to. i also do not exactly know whats the reason and i dint ask abt it either.
like i said , things wld be leftout or forgotten for as long as its not resolved soon after it happens.
but at the same time i also dont wish to force you.
lets just hope our love would see us through everything.
i wont leave you but its not totally up for me to decide.
cause i know at the end of the day i would still be displaced.
i dont know how long i can last but i will hold on to it for as long as i can uh.

i love you babbyy ! =/

2008-06-25T22:37:00.002+08:00

finally two papers down one more to go this friday. (:

Maths paper was tricky and brain-wrecking. forget abt it. lol
E.Comm was do-able and quite a breeze. (lets just cross finger that there's no careless or whatsoever)
now is left with ECA this friday.

sch has also started term 3 for gf and its 16 weeks left for her big O's
aja aja fighting hun ! :D

past few days wasnt able to sit down and have a nice chat. its only walking back home tgt. lol.
headed to cwp today to help mum get her bdae gifts for her friend over at bodyshop. hun tagged along cus we were supposed to meet and i was supposed to acc my mum. so why not lets meet everyone tgt ! hahah.
tour-ed the whole shop for countless times , spray samples on the paper strips for alot of time.
but at the end , it wasnt those that we sprayed samples on my mum bought but some other stuff. zzz. hun and i was helping to smell all the different scents and my wrist has lots of different kind of smell. (aka scandal's scent )
i still like my lover's smell no matter what uh.
but sad to say she always push me away when i want to smell. =/

ohya. another close shave brushed past us today yet again. but we were once again lucky enough to dodge it. (((: thanks to hun's sharp eyesight.

trained back home and walked gf home.
here comes the best part.
today was abit special.
when gf reached home she went to her window and looked down as i was walking back home.
and normally i wouldnt look up to her room but i did today because i had a feeling she wld be there. and JENG JENG ! she was there. but abit slow la. looking for me when i was standing on the spot waiting for her to notice me. hahah. that's the cute side of her. (:
we waved at each other and were totally amazed about this coincidence. hahah.
like OMG !

unbelieveable :D
i just love her more and more each day
can ?

love you syg ((:

10 months

2008-06-16T21:25:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 10th Month Baby !

4 more years ehs ? :D

what else can i say about us ?

lets hold on to our hopes and dreams

and i guess everything would be just fine (:

ps// im sorry that i made you waited for last night.

i was really tired after my work ehs. sorry hun =/

2008-06-14T22:03:00.002+08:00

good news. i still got one more week of holidays !
bad news. which means i only one more week to study for common test. ):

LOL

for the past one week , its only thursday and friday that was the most memorable twos. need not know why cause theres no reason to tell. hahaha.

other than that , theres nothing much going on this week.
i am feeling guilty now towards gf cause of some sensitive issue which i told her. and i dint know it affected her so much. zzz.

hun , i hope my assurance was enough to ease the uncertainties in you. and i meant every word i said to you. okays ? and yar. i will start saving up $50,000 for you ehs ? hahaha

lots of love hbby ! (:

even when i dream of you ,
the sweetest dreams will never do
cause i miss you baby
and i dont want to miss a thing

2008-06-12T12:25:00.003+08:00

things seem to be going fine nowadays but right at the back of my mind , it just seems not. seems that there's something not right and its not being told. =/

2008-06-09T22:32:00.002+08:00

i seriously need to get my big fat ass out of my house and exercise more. i swear i nearly fainted after exercising today. lol

went for my appointment with slutface ikhlas. same thing as usual. if it doesnt works come for another appointment. zzz. its 24 bucks for session ok.
got myself an adidas jacket at dirt cheap price. :D happy happy ! wooo ~

tmr meeting up wit gf.
f.i.n.a.l.l.y.
i'll just hope everything turns out fine. =/

sigh.
lots of misses and loves

2008-06-08T11:47:00.002+08:00

i wonder how i got so many wonders to wonder about. the list seems to be neverending.

the biggest wonder would be :

how much longer can i last ? =/

unfair

2008-06-05T21:43:00.003+08:00

life is seriously unfair.
i have this sudden thought abt it.

and i guess many of us do. why is it that so and so ppl can get the type of treatment you yearn for and yet you cant no matter how long wait or how long you work for it or how hard you work for it.
the amount of effort you put in dont tally with the output you receive. its always the same damn case.
if 1+1 can be equal to 2 den why cant it be the same way too ?

sometimes its just so tiring and heartwrenching to be whining about all these things to people. totally pointless in doing so. its either we can anticipate what they will say/reply or they'll just tell you to chill out whatsoever. and yar. it does make you feel better for that moment of time but it will also wear off like almost instantly. (well you seriously cant expect people to be saying that to your ear so that you constantly feel good. tsk)

at certain point of time i seem to lose the drive for everything. like there's nothing to look forward to and things start to come to a halt or its moving at a superb slow motion.
that's the suckiest part when it comes to that. sheesh. like zomg.
well. thats life.
whine and live with it. lol.

i miss my gf damn badly. been days since we last met.
and yar the rest of it no point in mentioning them. =/
me love her lots can ? ):

2008-06-03T19:23:00.003+08:00

the long absence of my update was due to some sickness that im going through at the moment just that its more of a under controlled situation now after rounds of medication and doctor visiting. from clinic to the hospital. the pain was excruciating. pffftt.

hun was sweet enough to bring me soup which she cooked herself and sent it over to my place. and also sweets which she got for me. though i had a very hard time taking in any forms of food i still managed to finish it up (:
really really appreciated it uh hun and i was touched. :] lots of love to you !
its almost the BESTEST thing that happend during this torturous period really.
but sad to say happy moments dont really last for long. i don know why. the blame will always find its way back home to me.
ohwells ~ talk less and live with it.

school holiday's in one week's time.
seriously speaking , i dont really dare to look forward for it. =/

ps//there's this stupid qns in my mind now

2008-05-29T17:35:00.003+08:00

omg.

the pain is like irritating la. zzz. i cant take in food nor drink and if i do i have to take them slowly. but still the pain would tag along as the food goes down my gullet/oesophagus.

it doesnt sound serious. but it is really serious.
and not many think its serious. -.- sigh ~
getting to the doctor later. and pls get rid of this sickness. pretty please =/ cus i haven been eating for the whole day. ):

its really saddening when people seems to be not so concerned abt it when its actually quite serious.
and surprisingly enough , the ppl who are concerned abt it are those which i least expected =/
but it's ok. i'll be fine in time.
i hope so.

eclipse

2008-05-27T21:38:00.002+08:00

things just flipped from good to bad.
so simply.

to think that i wanted to make it up for what happened ytd , i guess ... try harder is the word for me.

2008-05-26T21:41:00.003+08:00

I'll never take a single step away from you uh (((:

i swear

and i'll be there for you for as long as you need me.

and also all the assurance you need from me. :DDD

aites ?

i love you sayang !

mwahhss !

2008-05-25T22:11:00.002+08:00

everyone seems to be chasing me after to update my blog . lol

the past one week was fine. got to meet hun almost everydae after school since she end school late due to extra mother tongue classes. short meet-ups are better than none. (: of course. its always the same routine when we meet up. small fights (physically) , disturbing and irritating each other and fcking lame jokes which i just cant help but laugh at her. hahah.

weekends were fine too. town-ed with a few of my cousins. GSS uh. nothing much actually or rather i dint really walk all the malls since like im the one doing shopping only. its abit stressful too. when everyone's waitiing for you to be done choosing your tops and whatsoever which you wan to buy. only managed to get one top. like abit pathetic. i wanted to get like 2 min but since i wasnt able to make up my mind so yar. but ! im goin back again another day with farah maybe. (((:
managed to meet hun surprisingly today. a sunday ! we rarely meet up on this day. but it was a superb short one. 15 mins. lol. and it was raining.

lab test are coming up next week and theres also written test.
best. cause we will be like banging our heads to the wall. LOL.

ohyar. tmr's mother tongue o lvl for hun.
best of lucks yeaaa ?
just keep whatever that ive told you in mind and everything would be just fine ehs ?
YOU CAN DO IT ! :D

lots of love to gf (((:

2008-05-19T11:22:00.002+08:00

i think i dread for public holidays to come sometimes. i would never get to spend it the way i want to even if its just a small thing to ask for.
thanks to that , the whole day is ruined.

the weekends were nothing much. went to singapore sports school for the first time for ika 's club game. he wasnt playing for the game but rather videoing it. lol. it wasnt a wasted trip cause i got to witness things which you don get to see on television matches. i think the opposing team thought i was part of the club and they came and shook hands with me. hahah. coolios. had a few kicks before the kick off and ahem! ika told me my touches were considered good for someone who last played soccer like 8 yrs ? talented soccer player ma :D

had gathering over at my aunty place. bbq session as always. supposed gf was tagging along but end up dint. =/ met hun , bestie and azmi over at cwp since bestie told me hun was having blisters so yar got over to buy plasters for her. end up she bought them at RP 7-11. lol. and yar. mine was cheapo uh since its only $0.95 and hers was $2.40 ? it was the smallest packet what so i got them. its not as though you are pasting them all over the body. lol. had dinner den bus-ed back home. the short meetup was nice even though it wasnt a long one and it doesnt come often which makes it rare. but being able to see her is all that i can ask for though i would want time to come to a cease at that moment. hahah.
ohya. hun looks cute in her scarf (((: cutesy ~

im feeling so messy now. emotionally.
and i swear problems do come in a package.
i just received mine on friday. =/

2008-05-16T22:36:00.002+08:00

today jus isnt the day for me i guess ?
it was CUI for me.

mental shutdown during at half day.
the modules seem to be tougher each day. with tougher modules comes bigger headaches.
there is seriously no mood to stay focus on something which you are lost about.
i had better get rid of this before i get kicked on my big fat ass during common test.

besides that theres also other things thats bothering that oh-so-no-more-space-left pea brain.
its like an irritating housefly swirling around me. argh.

on a lighter note. meet hun this morning to send her to school. and it was really early morning. passed her the card which i got for her just when she leave. it was cacat though for me but she say she love it. hahaha. and of course its cute (ugly but adorable). anw glad she like it laa. (:

ohyar. and i just saw an itouch flew past me and i missed it. ))):
wait for me canns ? lol.

happyninemonthstobabbbyyy !
lots of loves (:

2008-05-12T21:34:00.003+08:00

woo ~
update update. hahas.
though im lazy enough to update. but nvm ahhs.
okok. monday. monday blues ~

umm.. i should summarise what i did yya. so yarr. i only rmb that at 1. lecture. ZZZ ! i slept whilewaiting for hun msg. and she asked me not to slp baaa. but yaa. as always ahhs. lecture was pain in the a** . hahahs. oops ! i guess im not suppoesd to use that word. lols.

supposingly gf should take me from yck. but yaayaaa. complain complain bout gg cwp by mrt. (last fri) ok ahh find ! next time dont take mrt ahhs ! hahahs. okok. then met up with gf. since she cabot her band. take attendance only ahhs ? big alr ahh ? hahahs. but yaa. since we are so gonna have a fight today. hahahs. and yar, it was a tie. (:
supposingly i win, but ehem.. guy maa. so give in ahhs. (as if)

shuckks ! tmr sch end at 5pm and hopefully can meet gf yaa. so we can fight again and again. lols. it is rather fun though. and yaa, hun. you are perspiring as though theres no tmr. lols. bloww bloww ~

seems that u get high whenever i call you sayang ahhs ? and i really like and love the part when u call me LAO GONG ! ehemm. (:

i gotta end here.
goodnight people.

and i love my Cute & Beautiful GF always & forever ! ((:

this post is rather sin-glish.

hahahas (:

2008-05-11T22:02:00.002+08:00

I MISS MY Cute and Beautiful GF

i guess i need to sleep early and do warm up before tomorrow's showdown with silat gf.

LOL.

i'll try my new turtle slap :]

2008-05-05T20:19:00.003+08:00

weekends just past by like that. nothing much to talk abt it. plain boring and disappointing.

morning class on the first day of the week. pffft. and it was the ohsoboring lab session whereby the lecturer goes reading whats on her laptop for 2 hours and 55 mins. ( she gave us 5 mins of toilet break)
but today was rather different cause we finally had some hands on on what this module is trying to provide. skills to troubleshoot. fun to play with but the report part. zzzz. its as though we were back to secondary school doing chemistry experiments. together with the templates of answer we had to use all the time. lol

today is just not like any other mondays in the past. the route back home seems shorter and faster today.

im always the candidate for that job
and sadly i cant seem to do it well.

2008-05-02T23:31:00.001+08:00

TESTING TESTING

2008-05-01T21:05:00.004+08:00

just as i expected.
the two days off just passed by like this. in a blink of an eye. lol.

TMR"S GOD DAMN FRIDAY ONCE AGAIN.
there's maths quiz and labs. zomg. totally no fun at all.
ohyar its also runway's day tmr since we have to wear "nice nice" (just with covered shoes). zzzzz

went over to cousin place like always.
"are sons better than daugthers ? "
the answer was obvious to me when i was sitting down there listening to my mum and a few of her sisters talking.
they all agrees that daughters are better than sons to a very LARGE extent.
according to them , sons will only come calling "Mummy ! Mummy ! " when they need help.
of course most of the times is for finanacial assistance. LOL.
other than that they are alwaes off doing their own stuff and finds them a bother , nagging everyday behind/beside us.

what's your stand all the sons out there ? hahahah

and and hun. takkee caarrree of yourself uh.
drink lots of water yya. the weather is so avril lavinge HOT!
love ya :]

shes the air that i breathe in every single second

2008-04-30T22:33:00.002+08:00

best ah !
two days off from school.
wooo ~
actually theres nothing to be happy about. cause it only means that friday would just come faster and i have to like see alot of lecturers which i dont really like. z.z
and theres maths quiz on friday too. of all days it falls on a friday evening. its the time when most of us have stop functioning.
this time round no more cheating or whatsoever with this lecturer. arghhhh.

just let friday pass by real fast and weekends to set its foot in. (:

met up wit hun after her papers today. as usual sat at the favourite corner. and like monday at ard 1 going to 2 there will be this old lady whereby she will walk to the seats there with her umbrella and sit opposite of us. ohyar. and look at us. lol. today she did the same thign just that i kinda saw her smiled. like you noe those kind of "hiak hiak you two again" smile. and before that was an indian man who spoke to himself . -.-

i guess that's all ?
gotta get ready for partyyyy. haahah. :D

loves for her.
x3

2008-04-27T22:07:00.002+08:00

after months of staying at home during weekends , ive finally got my big fat ass out of woodlands.
and yar. went over to cousin house. and man. its really months since i went there and its totally not me since i would sulk if i don get to go there on sundays last time.

i thought my long absence would means there wont be any topics about me. but i was proved wrong once again. there actually is. and i was quite surprised though.
my gramps and aunt got to know things about me which ive never told them.
well. save the trouble for me to do introduction when the day comes. (:

i totally love all the msges during the weekends uh. just as much as hun. :D
all the virtue version of our future life. wooo ~
ok. i can only talk abt it till here. the rest is not for u all to find out and not for us to know.
well , because we already knew it ? HAHAH.
lets just hope we can differentiate virtue to reality and forget abt integrating it back.

her true colours has totally awed me and tarnish the good impression of her in me.
totally.
i dint expect that shes such kind of person.
who was the one who stood by you when you were going through the lowest point of your life ?
who was the one who dote on you ?
yes he might be strict and fierce at times. but why did he do that for ? fun ?
he did that because he was concerned.
he dint want anything bad to happen to you nor see you being taken advantage of.
what did he get at the end of the day ?
nothing but a shattered heart.
thanks alot.
get the hell out of his life cans ?
i just cant believe it la.
get out right now ? look out for the green sign.

PFFFFFTTTTTT

party with me on wednesday night hun ?
LOL.
lots of love. :D

2008-04-26T11:33:00.002+08:00

finally weekends are here. this week seems to pass by damn freaking fast.
ytd was once again the painful long day hours in school plus the dreadful night lesson.
had the first lab for communications. H.E.A.D.A.C.H.E
the clicker lecturer was kind enough to let us off early since he say we just have to submit our report and we can go off. i was the very first one to sprung up from my seats and start keeping the equipments like mad.

went cwp to meet farah. its been a long time since we last met ever since the class gathering. had a nice talk at macdonalds before heading back home.

ive been very doubtful over everything thats around me or rather for one particular thing for the past one week or so.
i just cant help it by feeling this way.

now that everything's been said.
harsh and hurtful i know.
but of good intentions.
all said and done.
waiting for the better to come.
and stay.

2008-04-22T23:14:00.002+08:00

this is what we see in class every single day. people slping even at the start of the lecture. lol.
that summarise the whole day in school.

i gotta admit. i still cant get over it but theres nothing i can do.

ironically , i felt that i cant be bothered but at the same time i just cant let it rest.

get better in time ?

i just realise its just so hard to hide how much i miss you. ): and i really do. sigh.

2008-04-21T22:39:00.003+08:00

so much of trust and understanding.

its all said but nothing's done.

although things are not going fine now.
i still gotta say this.
im touched when i saw what you've blogged about.
we'll just wait those days to come uh.

loves

2008-04-20T22:28:00.002+08:00

DAMN. WEEKENDS ARE OVER LIKE AGAIN.

its back to the starting line next week. going through the same whole routine in school.
ohgosh.
lets just hope this week would be better la.

cant wait for tmr cause i might be meeting GF (: woohhooo
imissherlots la. boohooo.

if only i can make all the if only's in my life to be true....

gf is loved and missed much !
loves

2008-04-18T22:32:00.002+08:00

one week of school just ended...
and i ask myself what have i learnt for this one whole week and it seems to be that ive learnt nothing much.
all the lectures seem so boring and i don really ustd whats being taught up there.
totally zero motivation to study.
plus long school hours. who the hell can stay at their optimum for such long hours ?

the end of this week marks the start of next week which also means going through the same old thing like... AGAIN ?
lets just hope it will turn out better.
pfftt.

sigh ~
like totally.

hun, study hard for mye uh. i know you sure can do it. its a matter of whether you want it or not. give your very best shot ehs ? i'll be there for you. and yar. cant wait for the trip to the zoo ! (:

i miss gf much D:
lets hope we get to meet tmr uh
and yar another sigh =/

ps//im going through withdrawal of you

2008-04-17T20:15:00.002+08:00

damn. i seriously am dragging myself to school now and then due to the long hours in school. like the timetable. so i'll just skip the whole chunk

supposingly i shoud meet gf at 6 plus after my school ends and her fnn practical to end.
thank god the last lesson ended quite early since it was just briefing.
met at the same place.
wooo ~ cant wait sia since shes letting me try out her cooking. like FINALLY.
nope. its not maggie or bread with nutella. its REAL food this time round.
cupcakes (or rather cookies)
minestrone soup
pasta
i gotta take back my words that she cant cook uh.
actually i dint meant it either. i was just trying to disturb her and make her cook for me.
nyehhhh nyehhh. :D
one word.... YUMMMILICIOUS ~
i tried the cupcakes(cookies) and the minestrone soup.
indeed she can cook la. no doubt about it. but too bad its only once in a while thing. ):

HUN , YOU REALLY CAN COOK SIA. *CLAPS CLAPS*
i really hope i'll get to try more of your cooking la. can can ? prettyyyy pleaaassseee ?
i promise that i'll finish every single thing. (:

im still looking for the right time to say the things that i want to say.
and i really hope its the right time ...

nurulnabilahisloves !

2008-04-14T21:10:00.002+08:00

first day of school and im dead beat.
first part of the day was 3 hours -20 minutes of break of theories. -.- not cool at all.

then was introduction of entreuprenuership. lecturer was kinda of cool. and one thing for sure hes loaded with money la. with so many buisnesses over so many countries. pfftt. the way he speaks is also very different from all the lecturers ive seen. and he seems to know many different kind of languages and dialects.

here comes the best part. END OF SCHOOL ! :D
waited for gf since shes meeting shafa at admiralty place before heading to school for napha.
and damn. i miss her like ARGH and seriously i cant wait to see her sia. lol. sat awhile then they went off.
went to pick her up after that. as usual sat somewhere and talked. *secrets*
hun , i beg you can ?
head for the toilet before leaving school.
lol.

and yar. i wonder whens the next meetup.
and and star gazing.
=/
pray hard after O's everything would be done.

a simple msg from you would just brighten up my whole day (:
NURUL NABILAH HUDA IS LOVES
like many many ?
:D

2008-04-14T19:08:00.003+08:00

ika bdae celebrations.

according to jel's blog. she say we are cute in this pict.

like totally. :D

second gathering of 4e1.

and yar. look at the attendance.

lets just hope the upcoming one there would be more new faces appearing in the photo

2008-04-13T17:51:00.001+08:00

the rest dont really matters

what matters to me now is i miss her much and it will be much much more starting nx week.
):

ohwell. i just gotta live with it.
sigh.

school's starting tmr.
boohoo.

i love you
i need you
i want you
the way i do

2008-04-12T17:11:00.004+08:00

speech day went well ytd.
had lunch tgt wit gf at ljs. and yar she sae she doesnt want to go out and eat with me anymore. ):
lol.
after speech day was gathering at pasir ris for 4e1'06.
and yar. i was quite anti social. dint mingle much cause i seriously cant find common things to talk abt.
unlike benny and farah who can talk crap with them. i dno why. but it went out abit better at the later part.
alex and jx bought beer.
alex drank and got wasted and got into trouble.
went to touch some notsopretty ah lian girl who has a bf in army who is in overseas and will be back in one month time. go get some life can ?

stone-ed for dno how many hours there. staring into the blank space and vast sky. and listening to the ever repeating songs being played on the radio.ohyar. and thinking whether to join nyp band. yar i know. its quite a shocker to hear me joining band but i think i nid a cca. =/
started playing cards ard 4-5 plus and everything ended at 6.
trained to tampines and bus-ed back. slept abit during the journey.

got back rested awhile and went out again to take hun home. sat awhile before leaving.

sigh. hun , ive already say my part and now its up to you to do your part. but im not forcing you if you dont want to tell which i knew it at the start. i've procrasinated enough and now i finally come clean with everything. i actaully dint know which day would be the best day to break it to you since you seem so busy so many upcoming things.
but i still did it. like what i say. if things still remain a one sided manner , then everything would be still stagnant. i felt bad not telling you how i feel and neither could i hide my feelings well and thats the reason why you had to tolerate my attitude towards you.
but now i feel more worst telling you. cause even though i talk to you , you say you cant tell me how you feel.
sigh~
never mind uh.
now im left speechless.
just remember its not a pinpointing session but care and share session about how we feel towards each other.

ily
but the more i love you the more im afraid of losing you
and yar i know you feel the same way too.

2008-04-10T20:41:00.003+08:00

"i'm mr chan or u can call me ky , your teacher is not here today so just sit down and do your work"
thats what i said to every class i relief. zzz. nx time i think i can just skip the introduction since almost all of them knows who i am.

first day of relief and it made me reminisce the old secondary school time.
the superb early waking time as compared to now.
the smell of the morning air.
the freaking morning assembly ( i cant believe i started singing national anthem and the school song AGAIN TODAY-.-)and reading periods.

i guess im being labelled as the ncc guy cause whenever im in school people starts asking me today got ncc ah ?
and yar. u can expect those stunned faces when i told them im here to do reliefing.
and they changed from "sir" to "cher". lol.

different classes means different kind of kids.
there are kids who sings infront of me. gossip abt their bfs. sleeps. read like theres no tmr though i gave them work. kids who sit in groups talking and taking a look at me almost after each sentence.kids that are deprived of sitting on the floor.
thats what i observe the whole day.
all i did was sit down there. talked with those sitting infront of me. stare into blank spaces. nod my head to let them go toilet or water cooler.

BUT. it was a good exp though. and kinda cool cause you used to be sitting down there at the parade sq , hall or wheresoever and now you sit inside the staff room. talkin to your own teachers. sit on chair at the hall. woohoo.
lets just hope i'll get my next relief for next week (:

ohyar. i dropped/lost 10 bucks today. ):

it'll all get better in time ?
many loves to gf.

2008-04-09T09:31:00.002+08:00

tuesday
the day started off er... heartwrenching ? the night before wasnt that good either.
on top of that. damn those uncles downstairs. piling and piling non stop as early as 9.
i dno wat the fuck they are buiding/constructing. but can they like start work later ? spoil my sleep and it happens that i only have got a few more days left of late mornings before school starts next week. and as im typing now the floor of my house starts to rattle. the engine of the machine and the ta ta ta ta ta ta .. of the piling keeps playing in my ear like as though its some melody. -.-

went out to take gf (pocky) frm school. the jokes of her weird classmates never fails to make me have a good laugh at them esp the part when they watched jumper in class. lol.
behind those laughters were guilts. guilts of everything that has happen and it seems like they were caused by yours truly.
argh. shucks.

met ika andrea and hazuzu at cwp. pao pao char-ed and sat at those two seater bench. we started from talkin to singing and even have thoughts of joining superband. im part of the vocalist.for bass as always. zzz. andrea's the tui tui tui sound effect. hazuzu the emo hardrock guitarist. dna lester are also in the vocalist. benny plays the keyboard. i cant rmb ika do what. lol.

on the way back. we encountered one emo girl. with her nokia music phone playin the song tattoo through the speaker. and damn. her facial expression was freaking funny. seems so sad and as though shes doin her mv. as what ika says. shes in the shiok sendiri mode that time. of course we had our time poking fun at her and doing those stupid acts.

i actually went out on my own at night to wander off ard my neighbourhood. god knows for wad.

today.
going back to school later to get my books for year2. boohoo. me lazy. me no choice.
ohyar. im doin relief teaching tmr. yayness. finally. but i gotta do a second hair cut before im allowed to enter the school. like always. adss. *crik crik*

doughnuts love pocky.
(:

2008-04-08T10:05:00.000+08:00

maybe im just not good enough for you. and its not your fault.
its mine.

2008-04-06T15:35:00.002+08:00

out of nowhere
i feel so empty ):

what and who do i need the most ?

2008-04-01T09:06:00.000+08:00

i made a totally wrong move somewhere last week or rather monday.
and im regretting it NOW.
argh.

*prayshard*

i love my BENBEN :D

2008-03-31T21:11:00.000+08:00

sometimes its nice to reminisce about the past.
like look back about all the things we did or went through.
and come to think of it , its actually quite funny and annoying.
esp when its with gf. talk about all the fights , arguements , stupid misunderstandings. hahhaa.
shes still dumb as ever. and thats the reason why she's being named BENBEN.
and she's becoming more and more irritating. i wonder why. but who cares , i still love her (:

theres nothing to talk about my life uh. its superb mundane other than meeting gf or talking on the phone.
and yar. school's starting in 2 weeks time ? damn. by then , there would be even nothing to talk about. lol

ohwell. just hope that everything falls into the right place by itself or what.
i need a timeout for problems.

i love my BENBEN :]
u're my everything uh
rmb!

5 little things add up to 1 big thing

2008-03-27T19:33:00.000+08:00

they always say that god is fair but it doesnt seem so to me or rather i still cant see it.
why is so that im suffering from all this. to be specific skin problems.
why on earth does it have to drop from the vast sky and land on me ?
ok fine. i encountered it and so theres a mean for me to overcome / solve it. but after all the means i've tried its not making any difference. its not as though i dint take good care of it or whatsoever reasons. i fucking take care of it more than any part of my body. but is there of any use ? nope. they just have to pop out from no where.

its actually more than just a skin problem to me now. it has already invaded my into my life.
the way i think about myself. my esteem. affecting me all round in my life. making me feel inferior and sorts of nonsense. you name it you have them.
i feel so sorry for my love ones cause they actually have to tolerate all these and even after so i'm still the same me despite all the encouragements and motivations.

but theres really i cant do. im that pessimistic. im weak mentally. i cant tell myself to buck up and stand strong. all i need now is glimpse lof hopes. or rather all the hopes that i can get.

on top of that , i can foresee more problems to befall above me. with school starting within finger countable weeks and with long hours and hectic timetable for year2 i reckon there will be time for us to meet up and spend time together. in fact im already have the taste of it as an appetizer.
there's constraint here and there already even before school starts.
we dont really text each other much because of some restraint.
we dont spend much time together due to appointments and tiredness.
i tried to put myself in that situation and understand but argh. its time to get used to it. esp when my school term starts.
besides that theres also other external problems which i dont wish to talk about it. its seriously not within my control. and im certain i do not have to capabilities to withstand it due to some reasons.

i just feel like banging the wall but still it doesnt solve any of it. all in all im at my most vulnerable state and its the easiest time to cripple me as in not really cripple but to break me is now and its as simple as killing an ant.
pfftt ~ i dont know why do i keep running myself down but i just feel like that. my mood cant be any higher than where im staying though its only the 4th floor. its as though theres a piler on top of me piling me down each and everyday.

im moody.weird.hard to please. ratio of pessismistic and optimistic 7:3. thinks too much and in depth. sensitive. pissy.always seem to ask for more.
can anyone except me for those craps ?
hahs. i guess no one.

iloveher
but is that just enough to do so ?

2008-03-25T23:54:00.000+08:00

it should all stop there and my gap shut tight.
maybe i was too overly concerned that it just made things turn out wrongly.

whatever it is , i should have just shut that big gap of mine.

2008-03-20T21:21:00.000+08:00

everything's just not within my control. sometimes im just so scared that everything would be where it started with a snap of my fingers. and if that day really comes by how am i going to handle it ? now it seems to be that he's supposed to be with you and not me sine he seem to have the intention of getting back with you as what all your friend thinks. exactly the same as what i pictured it in my mind right after what i saw. and to think that i actually agree with it because of my flaws. totally brainless.i know i shdn be thinking this way. so tell me how and what shd i do in order not to ? pretend that nothings wrong ? shits. all the negative thinking are queuing up in my mind. and i totally hate it.

who doesnt want to be what we used to be. but its because of what we have turn out to be right now that all this are happening. we are bound to face problems. hiding and running only suppress the pain for the time being. when things really get out of hand , its gna be so hard to salvage everything.

i knew it that this is situation would happen. telling me how you feel and so on would in another way make me more worried and stuff. so does that mean keeping me in the dark and everything would make us better ? and that i only get to know abt it when i happen to find out myself ? i guess its back to square one again.

i just hope you know what you are doing and dont have any regrets about it.
and yar. i still love you.
=/

2008-03-19T20:04:00.001+08:00

now that its all said and done....

THE RESULTS ARE FINALLY OUT
it was actually released at 12mn. so yar. being damn enthu and nervous i sat infront of my lappy with my eyes set on my screen and my fingers clicking refresh again and again at 1145.
me or rather yx was freakin me out with the thoughts of repeating certain modules esp for computing bla bla bla before that.

and so , it was finally 12 and i guess i was the first to view it cause i was alr done but the rest were still waiting for it to load. hahaha. totally unexpected and taken aback. of course its was for good.

today was a total boredness. did nthg the whole until noon. met up with mum. had lunch and came back. slutface iklhas cldnt take it anymore and asked me out to cwp for ermm.. tail end of lunch and the start of dinner? lol. his friend joined us later. hes one coolshit guy and total gayness. they went to catch step up2 while i went off to get food and met gf.

pfftt. was abit pissed cus shes late like again. nope. LIKE ALWAYS. but seeing her face at that time just make me cant bear to blame her. (:
chilled awhile then send her home.

that's all i guess ?
lol.

you just got that magical factor that gets me down on my knees :]
tons of lovesss !

2008-03-15T17:55:00.000+08:00

back from chalet. though it was jus a tiny winy one , we had a great time there. first day was raining almost the whole and thus we cldnt get out anywhere. card games and that no - so - many - channels - available television kept us occupied. by the time we reached there all of us were like hungri-fied and the thing is that we got nothing to eat cept for cans and packets of tidbits plus an ice cream box of homemade sandwiches made by andrea. it was gone within 10 mins. lol.

then it was the bbq. everything was nice and going well unlike the previous one we had. played quite a few card games. snap , heart attack , fishing and bluff. yar. the first 2 sounds quite childish but hey. theres a kid in everyone. (:
wanted to get out since it wasnt raining but most of them were glued infront of the tv for AI. trust me. they really supports and gets defensive for their idols in the show. zzz.
got out to mac for some food and drinks. then it was back to card games and bbq till the wee hours in the morning. all of us fell flat on the bed at 5 plus except for dna benny and lester. practically singing their hearts out when everyone was sleeping. it all lasted till the next morning.

packed and checkout after everyones done.
another torturous journey back home. freaking 26 stops.
hung out with farah since she ended work early. slutface iklhas joined us not long later.
home-ed and only managed to catch some winks before dinner.

met gf today and she makes me go argh ! nvm. don wish to talk abt it.
but islh.

sometimes in life we just cant expect too much out of things cause the higher you expect , the greater the disappointment.
overly thoughts over someone or something isnt a good thing either.
try linking both together cause i myself cant figure it out how to express it.

ohyar. tmr's another 16 for us.
7 months. & still loving you hun. :]

if only you could stay by my side 24/7
=/

2008-03-12T21:46:00.001+08:00

wooo. its been some time since i updated.

been doing much lately but just slacking sessions tgt with the 2 sluts. lol. it has been raining like mad this few days and i have to ella ella eh eh eh eh walking under my umbrella wherever i go. but it doesnt to help much either. im still wet. and things seem to goes against me. the rain. the slippers. VOLUNTEERED to fetch gf frm sch ytd since it was pouring heavily. i braved through the heavy downpour to meet her and by then the rain alr subsided and my slippers practically came off every 10 steps i took.

everything's cool. got her to some block around her vicinity and went back cause i had to mit mum to get to lavender for collection of passport. it was then everything repeated itself. downpour. LIKE AGAIN. zzz.
over at lavender. stood there for hours to wait for our turn. thank god i've got all the old msges frm gf to keep me occupied. lol.

chilled over at slutface hse. psp-ed throughout. and im addicted. hahah. such that he's banning me from playin. sheesh.

today met gf . as in not just sending her home. ehem. LIKE FINALLY. shes getting dumber and dumber each day la. but at the same time ccccuuuuuutttteeee :] if only we can have the whole for ourself but i doubt we can uh with you always thinking of sleeping. zzz. and we were lucky enough as of not to get into trouble like once again. phew ! grocery shopping at sheng shiong ( with that signature hand sign) for tmr TheGang chalet.

on the phone with gf . the content of it. secrets ! :] you know i know x)
tmr's off to chalet. weee ~
if only it could be pushed back or something =/

i want to keep , hold and see all the tenses of ours.
the past , the present and the future :]

you're my babylove !

2008-03-05T17:22:00.000+08:00

put on the fake mask when you're with your friends but can you take it off when you're with me ?
why aint i the one whom you will first to think of to turn to to pour all your problems you're facing with.
i noe this period is the toughest for us. theres alot of restrcition for us and we should be there for each other.
why do u choose to go through it alone and shut yourself off from me ?
i really want to be the one you confide to regardless of any problems and you shouldnt be feeling how you are feeling now over why you don want to tell me.

it seems to me that the closer i get to you the further you drift away from me..
don push me away will you ?
it only make me feel worst and seriously cause misunderstanding or problems between both of us.

will you ? :\

2008-03-04T22:31:00.000+08:00

why is it that its happening again ? all the probs that we once talked about and agreed over what and how we gonna change for the better .

its seem like so near yet so far. i cant seem to see through how you are feeling cause its just so complicated. way too complicated and with the fact that you dont tell me about it how would i even get to know.i thought being together we should tell each other our problems be it minor or major ones. but it seems otherwise to us. you had your reasons.. but..
sigh.
like i said i cant force you.

and im abit shaken over what someone has told me. i dont know if its true or not , but if it really is then..
i seriously got nothing to say. its gonna hurt big time if i were to fall at this time after so long...

why is it that the harder i try , the more twisted the outcome would be ? ):

2008-02-29T21:09:00.000+08:00

hmmm. i dno why but i feeel cranky up there and seriously i cant find any reasons to it.

like even the smallest can get me irritated.

i guess probably its because of what im going through.

esp when the chances that i chanced upon turns out otherwise i feel irritated and pissed.

but sigh. gotta hold back all these if not god knows what might happen again.

plus old problems are also bothering me. zzz.

whatever it is you gotta stay strong kayewhye.

lol.

imy badly

but theres nth i can do):

loves

2008-02-27T22:05:00.001+08:00

wooots ! like finally exams over and holidays had just came knocking at my door (:

abit on my papers.
first was maths. manageable. except for that overlooked negative sign which landed me with the wrong answer. the rest i guess was alright. ihopeso. lol
then electrical principles. about the same format as revision paper. so yar shd be fine.
computer programming. can say that i guess through most of the question for section b since its like the killer section. luckily most of them was fill in the blanks rather than writing the whole chunk of codes.
analouge electronics. i was quite blind la as in mentally. to actually memorise what i did for revision paper and yar like duh. turn out the the format i memorised couldnt fit into the question. zzz. so dumb and its the first question somemore. 15 marks gone. plus a few more at the back. shd be ard 20 marks in total. how great. *wavesgoodbyetoA*

on a lighter note , all the unhappiness and hidden feelings had been resolved/cleared. and wooo everythings feel so light now.
and yar. just when we start to fly we got shot down the very next day. -.-
its back to the shape whereby all 4 sides are equal in length.
but i guess after the first time we should be able to walk through this again uh right ?
just take it as an another test for us
lets hope that this test wouldnt be a long and ass pain-ing one. (:

let's stay strong tgt yya ? though its like again but this time round stronger (:
we really gotta do with what we can now uh cause theres really alot of restrictions.
i will always be here for you
and yar...
ILY ! now and always.

shortest of ALL

2008-02-23T12:39:00.000+08:00

two more papers and everything would be done (:

if only i had selective memory and a bit of forgetfullness , life might turn out easier. =/

2008-02-13T21:24:00.000+08:00

zzz. time dont fly at all and even if they do arent they flying abit too fast ? lol
cliche introduction before the word EXAMS comes into the picture. and yes nx week is final year exams. the worst thing isnt the exams coming but the mood to study. its so hard to find the mood to sit down and do all the past year papers. like always.

sometimes i ponder. issit that ive changed or issit that im actually like this just that i managed to concealed it so well that it was being overlooked. issit good or bad ? idk. and why do i start to show everything at this period of time ?
or issit what people say. theres always a point of time where everything just break loose and theres nothing much you can do or control ?
it gives me the creeps now and then cause idk if im being over demanding or what so ever
and sometimes its like snow ball of issues where it gets bigger and bigger as it goes along.

zzz. there are so many WHYS but only one answer to them. idk. it fits nicely to all.
whatever it is , i just hope things turn out well by itself or maybe gets better when something is being done to it.

not forgetting that tmr's valentine's day.
happy valentine gf (:
loves x3
i want to get rid of the snow ball as well =/

2008-02-09T02:52:00.000+08:00

as promised that i will update today uh though its like going 3 now. lol. i did as what gf told. to get home and shower and faster slp. okays. mabbe the last part can excuse uh since im still here updating (:

chinese new year seems to be so modified/moderned nowadays. its not like the past where we go ard almost the whole of spore to visit ppl's home. instead we went to catch all the new movies released during cny. KungFu Dunk and CJ7. KFD was on the eve of cny and CJ7 on the second day. this was also the first time watching a movie in such big group. the whole relative caught the show including my gramp. total of 25 ppl. LOL. the amount of ppl in the theatre also clearly show that there are many more no life chinese ppl watchin movie instead of celebrating.

one thing that has not changed is the endless steamboat-in and blackjack. today is the third time im eating steamboat and dno how many blackjack session. lol.
yeah like gf say "eh not tired of it ah ?" hahaha. of course tired uh but who will be tired of winning money ? (: at least i won enough to treat my whole family for the movie.

basically thats chinese new year so far for this year.

yawns. i guess thats all la.

and to gf : gotta control uh. 3 days only and we alr msged 300 msgs. hahhaa. annd annd when are you joining me to be part of the family ? (:
i miss you uh hun (:
mwahhs x3

size 8- try fitting into my shoes

2008-01-27T17:02:00.000+08:00

now it seems to me that whenever i got no one to turn to to rant on i look for blogger. zzzz. and obviously my presence here again means im going through down times once again. yes ONCE AGAIN. it comes on a monthly basis. just like girl thing.

there's seriously too much things to rant on. every single day there will be new things updated

i feel just so tired sometimes going through all these alone or even telling other ppl cus its like a spoilt dvd that kips playing the same scene slowly and painfully.

skip the process. no one understands it.

no one was there for me. everyone had their own stuff to deal with. and yar i guess i gotta be used to it cus not everyone wld be there for us all the time. =/

i wonder how long i can take it or rather wheres the breaking point for me.
and i ask myself. what if one day i fall who's gna be there for me ? ):

right now even the slightest issue gets me shaken and yar im shaking real hard now

actually i don even know what im talking about.

its all messed up

2008-01-07T21:19:00.000+08:00

never thought i would update this blog again uh and i guess its already abandoned by the rest. lol. but thats the good thing so no one will come and read and noe about it i guess.

life is being so hay wired nowadays and i don ustd/noe if it isnt that bad as it seems just that im the one making it seems as though it is so. argh ! and i cant seem to find someone to talk to. and even if so i oso don reali talk deep into it cus ppl seems to see it as easy settle and stuff bla bla bla. well. of cus uh cus they aint the one in my shoes and they don really ustd what im going through. sometimes its just so scary to be at home. theres no one i can turn to to pour everything out. and i guess i wld regret it if i do so for my probs now cus most probably it'll turn out even worst or rather it makes me feel even worst abt it. the only person i turn to the most wld be farah. i dno why but i feel comfortable pouring all my shits to her. and i really feel bad bothering her all the times.zzz. i want to put everything to an end but it seems that its just the begining of everything uh. and time is the major factor.

on top of that i still got sch work to stress over. projects after projects are streaming in and deadlines seems tight. worst team members cant meet durin the weekends cus they gotta work adn during weekdays we got our own stuff to busy with. aiya. it seems tt i got alot of things to worry/stress/bother abt it.
zzz. all i can sae is.... i oso dno wats the most appropriate term to describe life now. sucks. fuckedup.
FUCK IT ! =/

2007-12-12T21:20:00.000+08:00

BLOWS *
surprisingly i still rmb my pw for blogger acc. zzzz
im here to update this special post for tt special someone who misses me updating to this blog :]

this is for youu !
loves.

2007-10-27T11:52:00.001+08:00

wooo ~ its been quite a while since i updated =x lalalalala.

yup yup. anw its the 2nd week of sem 2 in sch. first week was shag since had to mug wit yx for her O's amaths. zzz. one down one more to go . her emaths. hahahah. she better do well and not get the same grade if not like wat we promised im so gna pushed her down the mrt track. LOL.

past 2 weeks have been oso busy wit the parade for mrs lim and for another teacher who's leaving. the process of the whole i wld rather not talk abt it but the outcome :

ytd was the parade. went to mit HER(: in the morning den went to sch tgt. sat at the canteen lookin out for tt boy. hahahah. but nah. no chance to see him. changed adn got ready. though our hardwork for tis whole event was not surfaced / acknowledged or watsoever, we still had a glimpse of so call..... moments ? where we escorted mrs lim to the platform to witness the parade. abit on the band part uh. they plaed the funeral song when she was inspecting the parade. me and jj was like . DANG ! wth. since no one mentioned abt it cept for us so ya everyone kept quiet. hahahaha.

den was the concert. abit of lala lame la. but well. we aint the organiser so we shall'nt comment tt much. dint pay much attention to the concert either la. its either im gossipin wit HER(: abt tt ZZZ and tt boy or doin my ncc stuff. hahahhaha.

and and i was mistaken for cryin la when mrs lim was being sent off out of the sch gate. zzz. jus because i was holdin the tissue and thx alot to JJ for sayin so loud whenever a teacher walked past us. lol.

was supposed to head for sch when everything ends. but nah. we managed to convince ourself tt even if we go back to sch we wont be able to pay attention cus we are jus too tired. lalalala. and so we dint attend sch . weee ~

head back home after the thing / after sendin her home and acc jj at kfc. fell flat on the bed and slept thru the whole afternoon. (:

lastly to ZZZ. well done man. u have once again showned us how good ur acting are and i supposed there are more to come uh.

im waiting (:

2007-10-07T21:13:00.000+08:00

the one tt you love is not someone you find in total perfection
but someone you misses every minute every second of your life ,
someone you turn to when you feel like complaining , or a listening ear ,
someone who you would lie or die for

chocolates(:

2007-09-29T16:02:00.000+08:00

wooo ~ ytd went out wit noobilah. LOL.
was supposed to go out studyin but end up acc me to extend my passport. met up den off to lavender. damn alot of ppl la den waited and waited. watched rugrats followed by hi5 still not my turn. lol. and noe wad when it was my turn the lady at the counter told me wit a smile. y are u extendin it when its alr extended ? u can come back 3 yrs later uh. -.-! waste my time queuin sia. ahahaha, sorry uh noob made u waited for nth. but at least we were entertained by the show and the cute babies there uh. (:

hit town after it. walked ard and i reali meant walk sia. we practically walked every floor of cineleisure b4 deciding to catch a movie. noroi - the curse. we sat for abt 15 mins outside the counter b4 we decided to watch it and it alr started when we went in. supposingly it was a scary/ horror jap show. but the number of ppl watchin it was even scarier. only 4 of us in a theatre. sheesh. anw we sat thru the whole movie shivering , laughing and tryin to understand wat the hell it was abt still we don ustd. hahahaha.

walked ard heereens after tt for 5 mins den we sat there and laze. lol. too tired la after walkin ard askin ppl to buy tt noob. wahahahah. took train home den bla bla bla... :D
irritated each other throughout the journey back. lalalala ~ and im still the winner uh. (:

like finally got to go out wit her since she proclaimed herself tt shes very very shy. SHEESH. lol.
anw great time spent uh rite rite noobilah? hahahah. :D

ichocoatemuhahaha (:

2007-09-23T13:25:00.000+08:00

bored bored bored ~ nth else.
lol. nth much tis few daes cept for the fridae went back for ncc. (: a pity tt i cldn use my SKILLS uh right oinky noob!. lalalala~ wat oni. theres still other daes uh u wait. (:
went over to mit her oso in the nite to pass her her longawaited bdae surprise. hahahah. and its 6 BUSTOPS includin the one at adm place to her place. LOL.

ytd.
went to fetch my cousin frm tuition at some place near cwp. took a bus which had hot air blowin out frm the air con and cockroaches crawling almost everywhere. how cool. and one nearly climbed onto me. -.- bought donuts and stuff den went back home. and tt ass cousin of mine lost his ez.link card and he oni found out when we were havin dinner wit my relatives. being smart of him , he pushed the blame to me sayin tt it was wit me and tt he passed it to me jus now. blablabla. my parents werent happy abt it and my aunt wasnt too cus he lost it. lol. to add on , we had to wait for ppl to arrive before we can start teh dinner and they aint part of our family. everyone was pissed , hungri-fied. hahaa. nth to tok abt the food since tt was our 3rd time havin them. same pattern same style but wit different service. came back rot online since SOMEONE was lazy to come online. ):

todae.
nth happened yet as of till tis time. cept for me updatin tis entry SINCERELY :p
but i guess it wld be another rottin session todae.

ky(nooby oink!)

2007-09-21T00:23:00.000+08:00

ARGH !

suddenly feel so wrong wit many things/issues but i dno wats wrong with them and i guess oni tt ikhlas bitch ustd cus he had tt last nite.

):

2007-09-19T22:42:00.000+08:00

once again its been a long time since i updated uh. ( if not for being fair i think i wont touch it. lalalala )

holidaes holidaes... rottin at home everydae though i did went to look for jobs but to no avail. shall wait for them to call uh. HOPEFULLY. anw ytd was lester bitch 's bdae. had a bbq celebration over at benny's place. worst bbq session ever. SERIOUS ! hahaha. but fun la. we seriously need to read up on how to set a fire and a lasting one. lol. we started to start fire frm the time the sky was still bright till it turn dark and still nth was goin on. ok la got fire la but not those for bbq-in. being desperate some of us jus heck care and bbq. while the rest sat ard to wait. the rest of the time was all on settin up fire and settin up fire. nth else. hahahah
den came the best part. sabo-in of the bdae boy. we wanted to toss him into the pool while we all fake a grp foto along the poolside. yup. succeeded but i became one of the victims in the end. nonetheless i brought ppl down wit me too. DNA ! lalala~ who ask her to push me too and i jus grab her since she was the nearest and brought her down too.

security came. told us to lower down our noise level cus ppl are complaining. went over to sak crib to change shirt (the same one as i wore there ) and walked back wit andrea ching rok and faurok.

fun part over. came the results part. went to check through the sch website. oni managed to see view our GPA and not results. phew. i nearly fainted la. while waitin for the page to load up. wth.
got a 3.5 for gpa. lalalala ~ :D called up the rest to tell them check. most hit the 3 target.
told my parents in the wee hours of the morning and they tot they were dreamin. -.- how cool. LOL

and and todae's oinky noob! b dae uh. hahaha.
happie swit 16 la ! and pls nx time pick up the fone. lol (:

ky(nooby oink!)

2007-09-15T01:27:00.000+08:00

3 words 8 letters 1 meaning (:

ky(nooby oink!)
:D:D

2007-09-11T21:07:00.000+08:00

*person who tag you : nurul nabilah huda ( OINKY NOOB!)

*my relationship with her : NOOB and OINK ? lol

*5 impression you have on him/her : huh? oni 5 ? lol cute , shy (very) , lazy ( damn) , secretive , funny *memorable thing she/he has done for you: not yet. cus shes too shy to do anithing. LOL

*most memorable words she has said to you : WAIT ! her all time fav (:

* if she/he becomes your lover,you will : (:

*if he/she becomes your enemy,you will : ):

the desirable thing you want do for him/her now is : to wait patiently. LOL

*your overall impression of him/her is : shy + cute.

how do you think people arnd you feel about you : depends on which grp of ppl. ncc - monster close frens : lame ass. lalalala~

*characteristics you love about urself : none ?

*characteristics you hate about urself : is bein skinny a characteristic ? lol

*the most ideal person you want to be is : to be skinny no more neither be fat :D

for people who care and like you, say sumtink to them : thanks uh ! weee ~ lalalala ~

**pass tis quiz to 10 ppl that you wish to noe how they feel bout you :

1) oinky noob

2) ikhlas

3) junjie

4) farah

5) benny

6) saerah

7) dna

8) sakinah

9) yvvonee

10) jovina

*who no.6 having relationship with? : HAHAHAH. no one
*Is no.9 a male/female : female and a hyper one too. LOL
*if no.7 and no.10 are together will be a good thing : wat do u think ? (:
*wad no.2 studying? : communication& information design
*wen was the last time you chat wif No.3 : my god ! like everydae plus video conversation.
*wad type of music no.8 like :my singing ? hahaha. don reali noe.shd be anything nice la.
*does no.1 has siblings : yes.
*will you woo no.3 : kill me instead :D
*how about no.7 : shes my twin !
*is no.o4 single? : yup (:
*wads the surname of no.5 : YUP ! lol ( its actually Yap)
*wads the hobby of no.4 : clearing all the stocks of all the shops along orchard road and GOSSIP!do no.5 and no.9 get along well : they are perfect strangers
*where no.2 is studying : NYP! sittin nx beside me in class somemore. lol
*say sumtink casual about no.1 : BLUEK !
*have you tried developing feelings for no.8 : no. shes my brraattheeerr !
*where No9 live : AIJUNIED ! hahahah
*What colour no.4 likes : yellow ? hahaha
*are no.1 and no.5 best friends : nope. they are senior and junior in band. lol
*does no.7 like no.2 ; definitely not
how you get to know no.2 : through syafiqah (:
*does no.1 has any pets : dont think so.
*is no.7 the sexiest person in the world : HAHAHAHA. can sae. esp when she goes for her cca

FINALLY IM DONE !!!
:DDD

2007-09-10T15:20:00.000+08:00

the friendship made ... UG Conference'07 Grp 10 (: we had to bend down for her ( the one beside me ) LOL :D
"The POK " . lol

ytd marks the end of the UG conference. kinda sad cus god knows when will we ever see each other again especially the foreign delegates in my grp. took lots of pic as a grp , clique etc. nonetheless emotions tends to set in. one of them teared as we took fotos tgt as a grp.

jus like wat those representatives frm each UG said. each of us were reluctant to attend for tis conference and wats more its a fri sat sun event. we tot we jus had to sit thru lectures after lecutres and get done wit it. but never did we expect it was worth to burn our weekend for it.

yes we did sit thru lectures . we did burnt our weekends but wat we got back in return was the friendship tt we made and the experiences. guess its all worth it .

through tis conference it has oso made me realise. we meet different grp friends at different phases of our lifes and they alwaes play a role in our lifes. (:

2007-09-07T20:24:00.000+08:00

first dae of UG conference. hmmm. its jus like another SSC or CLT course lectures. talk and talk and talk... sort of a propergenda la since the speaker comes frm some uniform groups. but who cares we werent even listening. doze off abit den started to play story writing game. we have to kip the story goin by addin oni 3 words per turn.lol. other than tt wld be sneakin off to some corner of RP and slack. have to reali get out of the hall if not the whole dae wld be cut off frm the outside world. totally no reception.

met alot of ppl frm various UGs plus foreign delegates. BB GB St john NPCC Red X NCDCC Scouts GG. plus speakers from some organisation for grp discussion. as usal. attended one and carbot the second one. luckily i was in the same grp as tt wahid aka tamil tiger , and sak. the last part was more of a interaction one. talked to girl scouts and GB.

finally the best part. GO HOME ! rain was damn heavy la. flood everywhere. ate at ljs wit the same ppl den walk ard get my disk and ask the phone shop ppl how to open the memory card slot. like some dumb ass oni. go there jus to ask how to open the slot.NOOB ma. hahaha.
tmr skippin the thing.lol. abit wan to go cus my grp like mingle - able ones. but lookin thru the programme uh don think can make it la. sure half way shag like one ass. lalalala ~

overall the conference is still ok la. =D

yawns ~
NOOBY OINKS (:
lalalala ~

2007-09-04T20:15:00.000+08:00

wooo ~ finally SSC is over. 3 nights of strong air cons , hard floor , lack of slp .... but nonetheless 4 daes of fun , crap , learning experience ... all in all everythings neutralised. (:

slpin nights alwaes start wit msg-in wit OINKY NOOB , non stop nonsensical cum a lil bit of gay porn and ends wit snores and watever sound a human being can make. LOL and the wee hours in the morning starts wit u touch my shalala ~ my ding ding dong ~ followed by shoutins.

the most impt learning experience gained frm the course was mutual respect and knwin where u stand. seriously as juniors we have alot to learn and we shd noe where we stand. frm the course obviously some of us dint la.

throughout the course or rather the first dae of it i was in low profile. tts so unlike of me but nah since its a HQ camp. and becus of tt the cadets define me as soft and cant be trusted cus i seemed to be not knwin anything. tt was becus they hadnt seen the other side of me. wat for be loud and shoutin at them when so many other clts are doin so ? noise parade ? lol.
the next dae they were taken aback i think cus it was drill dae. ahahaha. and i can sae tt im touched ? since i managed to gain respect frm them. ( i got to noe abt it thru their appraisal)

den den there was tis particular cadet who wanted to commit suicide cus he dint make it thru the tests. -.- and we like had to take turns to see if hes in his bunk slpin or where and if hes in the bunk he better be breathing. first of a kind man. ohya.forgot to mention. i was msgin NOOB NOOB ! thru out the whole the course la.like everywhere in the campus im wit my fone. and its illegal to bring camera fones in. lalalall ~

so it all came down to the last dae. passing out ceremony. 2 dint make it. i dint noe wat to sae to them cus its reali painful to be standin on the same parade gound attendin the the passing out ceremony where everyone rcv their ranks and lanyard wit pride and joyness and yet they can oni share it but not possess them. its cruel. ya but theres nth much we cld do. nevertheless i hope they wont be too disheartened.

heheh. sorrie uh NOOB NOOB ! update so slow cus u noe uh. no more nx time ! lalalal ~
=D

yawns ~

2007-08-31T16:30:00.000+08:00

*vaccuums* tis time round too many dusts alr.cant blow. okays tts lame.
hmmm. finally sem exams over. WEEE ~ don wan to talk abt the last paper.lol.
been busy with the seventhmonth things and finally its all done and over.

todae went back to adss for teacher's dae celebration. more like a the gang 's get together since the last outing. sat ard the canteen gossipin abt anithing and everything.
finally theres an endin to all tt has been happening lately uh and lets hope it will soon be forgotten as in the bad memories and not the lesson. hahahah.
bookin in later for course and be back oni on ur... mon afternoon ? damn lots of things to bring la and so those tt can be share one no nid to bring. lalalalal ~ mcm goin back to clt course days. lol.

soooo... ive updated before i be gone for teh nx four daes. (saw tt uh NOOB ? lol).

ky-

2007-08-20T20:32:00.000+08:00

*BLOWSDUST* lol. been a very long time since i blogged uh.hahahah. and it seems tt theres more of a update<------ rather than here. lol.

hmmm. tis 2 daes topics has been regimental as in the topics being discussed / talked abt was related wit army and the life in it. well guess its bcus of my cousins headin for reservist and some joinin to serve NS. ytd was at gramp place and my uncles , father and cousins were all talking abt their life in the army and nevertheless the spooky part of it. damn.its scary uh.
spent the whole dae out instead at home to study. had breakfast gathering for my dad's side and i was slpy the whole dae la. (yadaa yadaa NOOB ! is gna sae im being lazy and balbalbla and tts y she calls me urmmm... OINK ! OINK ! ? hahahah) as usual the gathering was boring tts y was msgin wit NOOB !

todae first sem paper. engineering maths. woooo ~ damn scary uh. first time in poly having exmas in like... SPORTS HALL ? its so freakin big la and i went to look at the sitting arrangement. there were 500 ppl taking in zone 1 alone and there were like 2 to 3 zone ? lol imgaine ppl ~
paper was ok. 2 hr long paper did the whole paper twice. and the funny thing tt happened was a guy actually left damn early not long after the paper started and he went whistlin beautiful gals as he walk out of the hall. wth.
OHYA. i somehow argued/quarrelled wit the busdriver todae (raining)morning. wth. i board the bus as usual dropped in 55 cents and walked to the seats den the driver called for me and asked me where i was going which was jus one stop away oni la. den he sae 90 cents ! now go where oso 90cents ! so i fake fake take out wallet to look for coins and i told him st8 i don have ani. he jus sae 90cents ! den i sae but i student lei how come 90 cents. ok la i noe im faking it i shd be payin 90 cents or dno how much one la.den i go show him my NYP student pass. he sae nono 90 cents ! and mind u he was driving as we were arguing. i was like i don have 90 cents wat u wan me to do and all he sae was i dno its 90 cents and all along the way he speaks pisses me damn off la. sucky attitude. its oni 90 cents and for one stop. its not like wat i dint even pay a single and im like wanting to go very far. i jus sae rudely den wat u wan me to do ? follow u ard the whole dae ar. den my stop reached alr and he stopped there. so i asked again wat u wan me to do ? can i alight anot? "if u wan to alight i oso canot stop u" with tt fuckin face and attitude. i TSK + SHEESH him and turn back alighting the bus la. wth im rushin to sch for exams and its rainin still wan to give me this shit.
i was likke cursing tt damn driver when i met jj and yx. i mean cant u sae properly like " boy u shd pay 90 cents instead of 55 cents den where are u goin" i mean since its oni one stop so don so calculative and anw his pay doesnt come st8 frm my fare oso wat. DEN the most impt part " nx time rmb its 90 cent for ur fare uh" tts all i expect wat. fuck tt driver la. don ever let me board his bus again if not i will wont jus pay 90cents la. i will jus throw 2 one dollar coin and sae NAH ITS MORE THAN 90 cent FOR ONE STOP. (:
im so gna complain to SMRT if it ever happens again when i grow up.
once again FUCK TT DRIVER =D

ky-